meet the candidates

E.Z Sway

Minister for CultiMultural Affairs

Have you ever been innocently walking down the street and spotted someone who was clearly not you. I mean clearly, they may have acne or giant welts on thier heads or maybe been eating something which smelt vaguely strange. Its disturbing, its almost alarming and the opposition parties and the fat bloated beauracrats in washington, springs st and canberra simply ignore it. Ignore your calls, your letters, wont let you in their house's, call the police when they find you in their cars with a coat hanger.

VOTEONE says its time to put a stop to this nonsense, we take my concerns seriously, seriously enough to make me write this.

Some people, and Im not naming them outside parliment, say that it isnt a even a problem. Who are they trying to fool? Not me, nor should you be fooled by their pointless do nothing rehetoric. With a swing of only 100% needed for VOTEONE to gain power we can see a future that is bright for all australians, like me, and maybe you.

VOTEONE can finally put aside all the partisan bickering and get back to whats important. Important for families, for singles, for ugly women who cant find ugly men to date them, for firm breasted teenagers with nothing to do on a saturday nite to call me, for religious nuts with large collections of gay porn dvd's hidden from thier wives, for farmers, for cattle, for beavers without dams, for all australians. Do you see where this is leading. Yes, for an impassioned call for your to clear up this mess by,

voting 1 VOTEONE

Sure gay marriage is an issue, so is bio-diverisfying in bio-diesel made from natures own hydro electric emmitters, the humble beaver. Efficient, renewable and very chewable, beavers are our nations no 1 under-utilised rescource. Our opponents will bury thier heads in the sand and say that it is someone elses fault and what the hell can you do about it, eh cuz.

Well Im that someone else, and not the other person you may have read about in the personal's of Acquatic Singles magazine (eg wanted to sell, chest of drawers with handles that are still missing, but can find, for the right person, is that person you? well where the hell are the handles? call 0419 000 000 ask for mr pickles).

You may ask what this has to do Cultimultural Affiars? Ask yourself that question next time you are innocently walking down the street and are shocked to see a person or peoples, who is and or are, clearly not you, just doing any damn thing they damn well feel like, and then ask yourself "what can I do about this?" Yes, its unaustralian, in many countries without election's, it would even be illegal and even if they made it legal, which my opponents plan to, secretly, would it be right? Yes or no, theres one thing that we can all agree upon.

Im sick and tired of democracy, its just one damned thing after another.

Im E.Z. Sway, and I approved this message

for VOTEONE

the party that shares my concerns

and takes them seriously.

no, seriously.