lost box pt two

What do I want?

the last rays of suns warmth

to swell inside and reproduce

in clarity?

Clarity when I don't know what is.

Clarity when I don't know what is sunshine.

Clarity when I don't believe in sunshine

through the murmur of cold breezes

riding father against my flesh.

The ruffled leviathan of my making

to this point carry scars I choose

to leave before tending,

and tending? So what,

take all and leave nothing

for can this be all

to sink beneath

the weight

of a

lovers

kiss.

...............................................................

To be or not to be

that is the question

whether tis noble in reason

to pursue this waif

to ends of tortuous sorrow

or by relinquishing

that which grips my heart

oppose the overthrow

of mine sense's

and if the question

do resonate

does the reason

beckoning

need

no

name.

.......................................................

If I were an albatross

hermetically sealed

inside a jar

of green pickles,

would you

think of me

as a condiment

or a snack?

If I were an attachment

for your upright hoover,

would you grind peanuts

into the carpet of your living room

just to make me feel useful?

Would you forgive me

if I uttered the words

pituitary glands

in front of the

Duke of Edinburgh?

Would you talk

to me or my Siamese brother

if we met at a party?

would ya, huh?

would ya?

...................................................

fry me fishing tackle

in lard,

me putters

mossed

over

scrub it cleaner

than jesus

on easter sunday

and all will

be revealed,

bathed in

melted cheese

and whats

leftover

we can swim

in saturday,

or so they say

know what

ducks sing

when they flee

"where's my wallet,

watch that tree,

hang a left

at Grafton,

we'll make it

home

by

three."

....................................................................

As for my original idea,

we'd kiss and walk away,

no longer strangers,

no more lovers,

souls wavering

on intimate greetings

each time we passed.

Now in the spring hopes

of an overcast day,

I see I've chosen

unwisely

to meander

through the hot

well spring of lust,

for she has reached

the soiled blackening

that is

my stuff

and....

(cuts off right there, maybe I was kidnapped by aliens, my arse has been sore

since that "blackout")

.................................

my nerves tingle

singing I'm afraid

with balls of fear

tied to my spine

seeping into

my supine being,

dissolving my faculty

to love

and be

calm

as my

skin inside.

So now

I'm entwined

with fear,

its manifest destinies,

its debilitation's,

its core of unripe

unfulfilled dreams,

its boredom

and monotony,

its oneness

with the lifetime

of its

own company.

...............................................

the phones incessant

barking

brought

attention

to my

ears,

visitation,

not tonight,

pander

pander,

ever blander,

reach and

retch,

this ones

on the

house.

..........................................................

When the chimes

of freedom

unpeel

from their

moribund cloak,

will she stay

for more

than this

hour?

She looks like the sea,

like the sun,

visions of you

in the morning

when I come,

over flowers,

over powers,

walks

straight past

my gun.

(yup, can see where its going, but it sure didn't get there)

......................................................

now is the time

for a broken heart,

a heart bent and bleeding its love

over the hot coals of a missing furnace,

the low horns of sympathy,

self pity,

reason away the hours searching

for signs in a foreign field

for the pinpricks of light

to scale the curtains

and bring presence into a darkness

Ive made for myself

with the warm fur

of a friendly feline draped

round my neck

words of hope and beckoning

sing hollow

sonnets to all bravado.

If I am pretending this pain

then I should cease to grace the world

for if such mockery is false,

the acting has gripped my soul

and eaten out

that part

that is fire

which reasons to see

it as play.

the pain is real

and

reality

fathom

less.

..................................................

so the end comes soon,

closer than a blazing red dawn,

while my heart flies

on a vanishing opal moon

she calls my name softly over the air

and I know from the quiver

that I am dead,

thrown in the too hard basket

on advice

from a friend

My heart is thrashing wildly "No!"

Ive found the woman I love

with each moment of my existence

and long, ache and ache

to be with her,

but I leave of friday

with a feeling of forgetfulness

in her song,

that these moments

are just moments,

that these words of love

are just words

overthrown on a stiffening breeze

covered in a moist blanket

and told they do

not parade

openly.

How I love her,

how I doubt

her depths

of love

for me,

maybe I doubt

myself,

my tenuous

hold

for this

woman

XXXX

..............................................

You want me to say

your one in a million

or one of?

How

do I convince

of right from wrong?

Of pleasure from

pain?

of ecstasy

from a carefree heart?

of carefree

love

from said

heart?

of chains

that will

not bind?

of words

and deeds

which will

not

plunder?

of freedom

of association?

of association

which knows only

the pangs

of desire

to see pearls

of sweat

drip freely

from each

glistening pore

and know

those lips

are mine

only

when my name is whispered.

.............

endofdaysofmonotony

endofdaysofboredom

endofdaysofsaddness

endofdaysfullstop

andfullstopsendthat

endlessdaysofboredom

dittoonthemonotony

dittoonthesaddness

nothingtodobutfullstop

youenddaysofboredom

youenddaysofmonotony

unddaisoffullstop

andifiendmyday

inyawarms

endofdays

rdelite

rdelish

rdevine

rok4u

ru

r

u

fullstop.